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It took me a long time to really understand what the words I wrote above meant. After my wife died in 1994, I was distraught to the point of being diagnosed with Clinical Depression and PTSD. Then one night as I sat in my living room crying, I called out to God. My life was in shambles, and my life had no meaning any longer without her. I didn’t know who I was, or what my life was about. All I knew was heartache like I had never felt in my entire life, and I wanted it to end.
As I sat on my couch in tears, I cried out
“God.. I need to know who I am and heal my life! I don’t care how long it takes or how hard it is.. but I need to know!”
That passionate plea for help set into motion something that I never could have anticipated, or could have ever imagined. It led to God showing me, and eventually to healing me.
The first thing I heard in my mind after I said those words was “Shut down your computer consulting business and turn your home into a monastery. I will show you the way”. After quitting my job the week Mar died I started a home based computer consulting business, and now I was being asked to close it down and walk away.. so I did.
I also sold off nearly everything in my home as well, especially things that were related to my life with my wife, and I began to pray and meditate daily.
The first year was a living hell because a previous injury from a car accident returned unexpectedly, and very painfully. Years before I’d had a car accident and totaled out my wife’s car, and I had sustained severe whiplash as a result. When it returned, I had trouble walking, and some mornings I would wake up to such dizziness that I would crawl to the bathroom and throw up. I had good days, and I had bad, but it lasted for a full year.
After a year of praying, meditating, crying and pleading with God to heal me, and being told that I had to endure because it was my Karma, I was finally led to a wonderful chiropractor who understood what was happening and had the ability to heal me. I had been to four others previously, but every one of them had made it worse.
After I was restored to health and out of bed I prayed and meditated daily. Sometimes I sat in meditation for five or six hours at a time and I discovered that within us is a bliss that is beyond human imagining.
But while I could transcend my ego during meditation, I still wasn’t really healed. When I came out of the bliss, I was still John.. with all of the fears and negative beliefs that I’d always had.
It wasn’t until six years later that I finally discovered the deepest Truth of our Being: We are all part of the Divine. Our existence on this planet is only a minuscule part of the totality of who, and what we really are.
“Know ye not that ye are gods?”
It was a cold November night two years after I sold my home and was living as a Forest Monk when I was meditating in the back of my Jeep, and suddenly my Crown Chakra opened and I was taken up into the Light. I didn’t know who I was other than that I was part of the Light, and I knew that it was what I, and we, called God, and it was All That Is. And I knew that I was THAT.
I eventually fell asleep in that state, and the next morning when I awoke, everything was deeply and profoundly still and quiet. I had no idea who I was at that point either, but I saw that everything around me was shimmering and vibrating with a beautiful golden light. As I climbed out of the back of my Jeep I looked around me, and I realized that all things were vibratiing with that same golden light, and that it was all One thing.
I knew that the Juniper tree I was camped beside was aware of my presence, and it recognized me and exalted in my existence in the Body of God. And I knew that all of creation around me was of the same glorious consciousness.
That was the first spiritual awakening I experienced. After that came four more in intervals of about 18 months.
In my ebook “Living In The Body of God” I tell the story of the third Spiritual Awakening I experienced, during which Spirit spoke to me and said:
“It was never intended to be this way, it is My Will that you know who and what you are, and that you create your lives in Joy.”
That brief statement told me exactly why life is the way that it is. We have forgotten that we are Divine Beings of Light and are aspects of God in Creation. Over millennia we have become lost in our mind/ego and our stories, and it was never intended by God for things to be this way.
When I realized what I was being told was the reason for all of the suffering on the planet today, I knew the answer to the problems and issues we experience in our lives and in the world lay in reclaiming what we originally lost.. the direct experience of our Divinity. I also realized that this is why I have had such a passion to find the Truth and to Awaken for nearly my entire life.
But the good news is that God is healing the world, and eventually we will again know who, and what we are and we will live as was originally intended.
The Kingdom of Heaven is being restored on earth.
We are discovering, each at our own pace, that we are NOT victims, nor are we small or helpless. We are part of God. We are all part of God in Creation, and we live in what was told to me during my first spiritual awakening “The Body of God”.
The reason we do not know who we are is because we’ve become lost in the ego and our stories, and those energies have caused us to become rooted in the belief of separation. But none of this is necessary. In fact, it is in direct opposition to Life Itself. We are Love, Light, Peace and Joy. This is our nature. We are in fact all One Being. The One appearing as many, which make up the One.
But we can return to the Original Intention and to live the life we were meant to live by resolving the beliefs and energies that are obstructing us, and keeping us from knowing and experiencing our Divinity.
When the beliefs that prevent Life from flowing through are resolved, wonderful things begin to happen. We no longer have to struggle.. life becomes easy and effortless. Feelings of angst and our ego’s driving need to struggle to survive begin to fall away.
We begin to feel and sense from the deepest part of our being, that we are part of God in Creation. We come to FEEL the Divine Presence within us. We also come to understand that WE are the only ones creating our reality, and that the Universe responds to our EVERY thought and emotion and creates our world from energy emanating from our thoughts and emotions. And we begin to sense and feel that we, and the entire planet and universe is loved and cared for beyond our previous comprehension.
For the Plan of God to work out all of the problems and issues we have created must be RESOLVED AND HEALED, and the more that happens, the sooner a New Earth will come about through the Divine Outworking of Christ on Earth. Then the Plan will be fulfilled.
When that happens on a personal level, we become able to work with God to change not only our own reality, but to change the entire world for the better. We embody love and kindness for all, and we live it.
“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.”
Once the obstructions within us are removed, Life begins to just happen, as if by magic, because the Divine is able to work through us. Things we need come into our experience because it is necessary for our Being in the world. When we are aligned with God to that extent, we become able to fulfill our purpose because we are in alignment with our soul’s purpose in the plan.
Healing The Self Also Heals The World
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Namaste, Love and Blessings,